8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize