Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
