My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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