The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
porn star boner night. come get it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
