im about as happy as oj after his trial
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
porn star boner night. come get it.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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