While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
