I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
