between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just want to make out with him forever
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
