I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
