I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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