so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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