I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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