...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
the raccoons are back...
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