I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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