I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
