he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
