therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
