i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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