Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize