I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
