If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
