Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
