You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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