I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
