The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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