We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize