U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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