Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
