About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
