so explain again why im purple
no
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
