question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
