but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
