you guys were way drunker than both of me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
