I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Randomize
