this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
