At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
