Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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