My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
