what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
