Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
