My room smells like vodka and shame
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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