I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
