This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
