I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
