Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
