Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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