I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
