can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I enjoy the company of your penis
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
