So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
