Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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