If that was your dad, he is hot
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
