the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Randomize
