All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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