i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Randomize
