who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
