Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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