if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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