im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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