u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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