Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
