I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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