So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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